Living near a park and playground in Yerevan is a true blessing. Recently, we were excited to see the long-awaited Mergerlian Park open just two bus stops away from our home in Arabkir. Eager to explore, my nearly 2-year-old daughter and I set out for a walk the very next morning. From the swings to the slide and finally to the sandy playground, we lost track of time. Dark clouds gathered overhead while my daughter’s nap time approached. After some coaxing, I managed to get her into the stroller. However, just 100 meters later, she began to cry, wanting me to hold her. With two bus stops still ahead-and considering the steepness of Komitas Avenue-it felt like a mountain to climb. Not wanting to impose on anyone to help with the stroller while I carried her, I made a decision that felt a bit “forbidden” for a “perfect” mom: I handed her my phone to keep her entertained while I pushed the stroller. Since getting my phone is a rare treat for her, she eagerly accepted it. As we approached home, I ran into an acquaintance who, after greeting me, shot a disapproving glance at my daughter glued to my phone before walking past.

Having studied social psychology and behavioral science, I often think about our human weaknesses that influence our behavior without us even realizing it. This encounter made me aware of several biases I’d like to share.

Fundamental Attribution Error. This happens when we blame our own negative actions on external circumstances while judging others for their mistakes based on their character. For instance, if you cross the street outside a designated crosswalk because it's too far and you’re in a hurry, you might think it's justified. But if someone else does it, you might label them as reckless.

Consider another scenario: if a colleague submits a report late, you might think they are irresponsible, while justifying your own tardiness by citing family obligations. If someone gossips, you may consider them mean-spirited, but rationalize your own gossip as justifiable.

There’s a saying: “You see the speck in someone else’s eye while ignoring the log in your own.” Politicians often call this double standards. When I went home, I thought about how often I’ve criticized someone for their “careless” actions while my acquaintance could just as easily judge me.

Another important concept is the Spotlight Effect. This is when we overestimate how much others notice our appearance and actions. For example, if your hairstylist gives you a bad haircut, you might feel everyone is staring at you. In reality, your colleagues are likely focused on your presentation, and your family is just happy to see you. This feeling of being under a spotlight can distort our view of how others see us. In my case, my acquaintance may not have noticed my daughter on my phone at all, or if he did, he might not have thought anything negative about it. His expression could have simply reflected his own bad day.

There’s a saying: “The world doesn’t revolve around you,” and remembering this can make life easier.

Understanding these common biases helps us be more forgiving, avoid snap judgments, and reminds us to live our own lives without worrying about what others think. Before we point out the faults in others, we should first consider our own shortcomings.

These biases are often exploited by advertisers and political strategists to sell products or win votes, but that’s a topic for another discussion.

Anzhela Kzhdryan is a lecturer at Yerevan State University.

These views are her own.