The appointments of women to high positions in the Armenian government, the U.S. presidential elections, and discussions on sex-selective abortions seem to have activated the topic of gender roles in recent public discourse. This topic is very sensitive in our society, and as with any sensitive issue, the opinions and approaches surrounding it tend to be exaggerated; otherwise, they would hardly generate a broad public discourse. As someone who tries to envision both sides in any ideological debate, I find myself wrestling with my own thoughts until I reach the root of the issue and find a balanced perspective. Thus, I decided to share my reflections on gender issues with you, as we attempt to understand together what is truly hidden behind the mutual accusations of "grant-seekers" and "reactionaries."

First, let’s clarify the difference between gender and sex once again. Sex is a biological phenomenon determined by nature at the moment of conception; it is not dependent on a person's race, religion, social status, time of birth, or other societal characteristics. Gender, on the other hand, is the role associated with that biological sex and can vary significantly from one society to another and from one era to another. For example, if you are a girl (sex) born in Ancient Rome, biologically you are no different from a female citizen of Italy today, but the societal status assigned to you (gender) is drastically different.

Gender Roles Sometimes Constrain Men Too

It is common to speak about the gender-specific characteristics of women, yet gender stereotypes also affect men. Indeed, as a rule, these tend to be more limiting for women; however, men can also fall victim to them. In many societies, men are "forced" to be very strong and sometimes aggressive, to earn money and provide for their families, to avoid showing vulnerability, and to refrain from engaging in activities that are culturally seen as taboo for men. But life is not a joke; there are times when men also cannot provide for their families. Usually, movements fighting against gender stereotypes are labeled as "family-destroying" currents, yet what happens, for instance, when a man's affairs are not going well in an established family and for an extended period it is the women who take on the responsibility of providing for the family? Even if everything seems perfect on the outside, a huge stereotypical burden hangs over the man, which can only be overcome by someone really strong to maintain the family.

Stereotypes Hinder Family Formation

In Armenia, both men and women are getting married later. If in 2012 women married at an average age of 25 and men at 28, ten years later, those numbers rose to about 28 for women and 31 for men (source: armstat.am). You may have heard the expression: "Men are afraid of smart women; if you want to be happy, pretend to be dumb." In reality, I believe men love smart women very much; in fact, otherwise, they get bored. The main challenge is the oppressive gender stereotypes that dictate that a woman cannot be smarter and more established. What’s happening now is that it will be hard to stop the momentum of women’s advancement in the labor market (and it shouldn’t be stopped, even driven by patriotic and nation-building motives. Abandoning the economic potential of half the population is national suicide). The age of marriage is increasing, women are naturally becoming more established at the time of marriage, and stereotypes hinder men from easily building a happy family. Therefore, when we talk about family values and the importance of family, we need to shed some toxic stereotypes.

Religions Are Not to Blame

Often, gender characteristics start to be justified by religion. In fact, when we study the history of Christianity or Islam and their periods of creation and spread, we see that these religions not only did not limit women’s roles but were quite progressive for their time, even endowing women with additional rights. Historically, scholars and researchers have tried to explain the role differences between women and men through various factors—such as the importance of male strength in agricultural societies, limitations caused by motherhood, social dynamics, and so on. The truth likely lies somewhere in the middle of all these theories, but religions did not come and establish these characteristics; they recorded them, often with certain improvements for women (there's a hypothesis that women played a crucial role in the spread of these teachings).

The Issue Is Not Equality, but Happiness

Today, many might say that there is no gender inequality in our country since the legislative framework gives women all possible opportunities. In reality, the legislative framework is only one link in the overall picture: inequality exists, starting from unequal pay and the limited number of women in leadership positions (which we can analyze for socio-psychological reasons), to cases of domestic violence and the bullying of its victims. In essence, if we set aside the extremes, gender equality is merely about the realization of rights. I really enjoy cooking, and I can happily do it every day for my family; I feel like the happiest person in the world in the role of a mother, having consciously chosen to slow down my career progression for the sake of my child. I can say that I fully embody all the attributes of a woman's role, but there's an important nuance: all of this is my choice. The fight for gender equality is the fight to have that choice.

Anzhela Kzhdryan is a lecturer at Yerevan State University, strategic communication expert.

These views are her own.